She hated how easily he slept, his body draped on a diagonal across the bed. She could fit only when she curled herself into a ball. They hadn’t talked much since his trip to New York. His early bedtimes made her wonder what happened there. Her fingers wandered across laptop keys. Browser history. Craigslist. M4MW…Take me in?…My girl is home in Cali; I have permission. A photo of him, full mast. A photo of her, spine arched. Permission, a rage acidic in her esophagus. Corrosion she knew she’d never speak about. Corrosion made more poisonous because she’d stay.

Hannah Miet is a poet, essayist, writing coach, and editorial consultant. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Newsweek, PANK, The Rumpus, and elsewhere. She’s an ex-journalist and ex-New Yorker thriving in the California sun. Check her out on Twitter.

This piece was published in collaboration with NuRoots as part of its In Awe project, seven weeks of virtual gatherings and D.I.Y. experiences that explore a season of expansiveness, reflection, and astonishment. NuRoots, an initiative of the Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles, mobilizes and inspires people in their 20s and 30s to create meaningful Jewish community across Los Angeles.

Photo Credit: Elements of This World

7 Responses to “Aweful”

  1. detour says:

    I have to agree with Andrew Owen Dugas – what a great ending – a wonderful and memorable final sentence

  2. Banking says:

    Now let’s change the subject a bit, what books did you read during the pandemic, what books do you recommend?

  3. Kirsten Love says:


  4. Andrew Owen Dugas says:

    Great ending!

  5. I really enjoyed reading this. The economy of the language and the emotion the story conveys made it very enjoyable.

  6. Ervin Bravo says:

    toxicity, Her gut instincts weren’t enough she followed them though and she was right. sleeping with a stranger.- sounds like a movie.

  7. Oren Peleg says:

    A sublime piece – evokes longing, loss, melancholy, a sense of the intangible – all in 100 words! bravo!

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