Carriage

Sonogram of a womb.The day of the appointment, I hit a bird with my car. I forgot about it until a homeless woman on the street corner shouted through my windshield, pointing. “There’s a dead bird on your car!” She laughed.

That afternoon, the doctor’s condom-coated wand stirred inside me. I’d been bleeding for five days.

“There’s nothing there.” He turned the ultrasound monitor around and paused. “Sorry.”

Automatically, the machine printed photos of my womb, dark. The doctor quickly folded them away.

The sparrow’s feathery fringe fanned out across my grate, still stuck when I got home. I left it to rot.

Sarah Swandell has written for The Christian Century, Dime Show Review, devo’zine, and The Journal of Compressed Creative Arts. She is a songwriter and pastor.

Photo Credit: Rob Bell (image edited)

3 Responses to “Carriage”

  1. Safaa Abh says:

    HEARTBREAKKK

  2. Dottie says:

    Is this where swan started? Such a symbol.love you so much for sharing.

    • Awww, thank you, Dottie. The swan image began first from Jordan’s mom’s maiden name, and then from how we took part of her maiden name into our new last name. So “little swan” is for the Swandells. Thank you for asking.

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